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It doesn't matter if you lock your doors and throw away the keys - THEY know you are home! Got a computer? THEY know you are online!  And THEY know that you have just received another brain-crunching issue of the weekly newsletter of all the weird stuff and conspiracies that THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW - THE CONSPIRACY JOURNAL! So read it quickly before THEY come knocking on your door to take you away! Information is POWER!

This week, Conspiracy Journal takes a look at such paranoia-inducing tales as:

- Are Alien Artifacts in Our Solar System? -
- Newfoundland UFOs Still a Mystery -
-  Quantum Teleportation Over 10 Miles Achieved -
-
The Bodalog Monster, A Killer on the Loose -
AND: Future Imperfect-Time Travellers May Receive Frosty Reception

All these exciting stories and MORE in this week's issue of
CONSPIRACY JOURNAL!

~ And Now, On With The Show! ~


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- JUST PASSING THROUGH DEPARTMENT -

Are Alien Artifacts in Our Solar System?

The unknown visitor came from deep space. It passed nearly as close to the Earth as the moon on May 21st. Its spectrum didn't match any known asteroid. At a feeble absolute magnitude of +28.9, the traveler must have only been about the size of a truck.

Object 2010 KQ, what are you?

Is this a scouting ship for Stephen Hawking’s hypothesized evil aliens planning a mass invasion of Earth? No, more likely it is a discarded interplanetary rocket booster abandoned in solar orbit.

Ho hum.

The detection is tantalizing nevertheless because we can identify space objects down to a few feet across. That's the scale of what you might expect any alien probe might be, assuming their technology is comparable to ours. (Forget about those huge motherships in the 1996 film "Independence Day," the fuel costs are astronomical.)

On the hypothesis that we might have been visited long ago, could there be alien artifacts left behind, perhaps abandoned in solar orbit too?

The fact that we haven't found anything yet makes it clear that any visiting aliens didn't do anything obvious to say they came by. But I can make a few cautious extrapolations from how they might have conducted the exploration of our solar system– that is, if they think like us!

First, we have to assume there is a nearby extraterrestrial civilization that is inquisitive enough to invest the resources into building interstellar probes.

They first identified Earth as inhabited in telescopic surveys, then they wanted to know what lives here. Given the extreme physics of interstellar travel, answering that question is no small expense.

Secondly, these probes are built purely for data collection and beaming findings to their home planet. They are the mechanical equivalent of Lewis & Clark, with the intelligence to self-reprogram their mission depending what they discover.

A probe's mission is not to plant the flag of Zork on top of the U.S. Capitol, or make direct contact such as: "Greetings from the Zeta Reticulans. how are you?"

In a paper published in the 1960s Carl Sagan, using the Drake Equation, statistically estimated that Earth might be visited every few tens of thousands of years by an extraterrestrial civilization.

If this is a reasonable estimate, then what evidence might have been left behind? (And pull-eeze - it's not the Great Pyramids, not the Nazca lines, and not Stonehenge!)

For starters the probe might self-destruct after reconnoitering the solar system and transmitting its findings back to it builders. It would be “retired” simply for the sake of not polluting our system with evidence of alien technology. For biological quarantine, NASA crashed its the Galileo orbiter into Jupiter, and that is the ultimate fate of Cassini probe at the end of its mission to Saturn.

But could you program an artificially intelligent machine to commit suicide? It simply might change its mind.

Given all the expense to get the probe here, its builders would strive to make it immortal through self-repair, if not replication. This is embodied in the popular idea of a Von Neumann machine.

The probe would have to find a place to park and collect resources for self repair (but not a stop at Radio Shack). It may be instructed to do a re-reconnoiter of our solar system periodically and go into hibernation for long intervals. (No, it wouldn't need to tap into our power grid as alleged in several goofy UFO stories. Who needs energy from a fossil fuel-dependent medieval planet?)

The visitor could park in a solar orbit. If the probe detected artificial electromagnetic transmission from Earth it might go into stealth mode to avoid detection and capture. It couldn't collect much data if it were snagged and put on display at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington D.C.

Even if visitors to our solar system were sloppy, with one or more probes leaving debris on asteroids or even planets, the artifacts would be pretty difficult for us to detect.

NASA's Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter (LRO) has photographed our lunar artifacts, such as the Surveyor 6 shown here. But we knew what we were looking at. Even the shadow from a black alien monolith on the moon might get overlooked as just another tall boulder.

To get attention, a piece space junk from an alien probe would have to be big and morphologically peculiar, or have an odd spectral signature or albedo.

One example is an LRO image of the Soviet Lunokhod 2 rover that landed on the moon in 1973. It stands out brightly against the regolith and has parallel wheel tracks.

I can’t help but wonder if aliens would want to just leave a calling card that one of their robotic explorers passed through our solar system. It could be as simple as a passive artifact with etchings or some indelible feature that would survive micrometeors and radiation exposure over hundreds of millions of years. This is similar in concept to the Pioneer plaque and Voyager record placed on our first probes to escape the solar system.

But where would aliens place such an artifact so that it is easily found? The fact that we haven’t stumbled across anything obvious yet reduces the likelihood of this hypothesis.

If you were an alien visiting the solar system, where would you leave a message? And, what would it say? Something like: "We Came in Peace for All Klattukind."

Source: Discovery News
http://news.discovery.com/space/are-alien-artifacts-in-our-solar-system.html

- IS SOMETHING UP THERE DEPARTMENT -

Newfoundland UFOs Still a Mystery

The unidentified flying objects spotted in January off Newfoundland remain a mystery to the government, despite extensive scrutiny, according to Department of National Defence (DND) documents obtained by CBC News.

The documents contain grainy images of a rocket with a long, fiery tail soaring skyward. The reports rule out missiles and model rockets, but don't suggest what the images might show.

Military experts discredit the possibility of ballistic and cruise missiles. DND's Directorate of Scientific and Technical Intelligence (DSTI) assessed the images and reported: "The object is not a ballistic missile, not a cruise missile in boost phase nor a cruise missile in-flight phase. It is also not a licensed model rocket launcher."

The Jan. 25 sighting happened on the southern coast of Newfoundland near Harbour Mille. Several residents reported seeing the objects, including a woman who was able to photograph one of them. She reported to the RCMP that she had seen three missiles soaring over the ocean and it looked as if they had come up out of the water.

The DSTI says in the documents that the only missiles that can be launched from a submarine are ballistic or cruise missiles, but the country's top arms experts say the object photographed doesn't fit that profile.

"There are no distinguishing features on the object to use for identification … the shape of the flame is atypical of a missile launch," and "the length of the flame is greater than that of the rocket body. This eliminates the possibility that it is a cruise missile jet engine exhaust," said DSTI.
Undetected by Norad

The documents also note that it is the responsibility of the North American Aerospace Defence Command (Norad) to "provide aerospace warning and defence for North America," and that neither that agency, nor Canada Command, had any information on the rockets.

"NORAD and [Canada Command] have no evidence to support this sighting" reads the report.

The RCMP conducted an investigation, but according to the Jan. 28 report, the police didn't have an answer either.

"The RCMP … is calling the event an unexplained sighting."

The documents also say there were no navy ships involved, and no Canadian Forces missile exercises at the time.

The government has blocked nine pages and a several paragraphs of the UFO documents from public release.

One of the lines leading into a blocked-out portion reads, "Media reporting has linked the sightings to …"

At the time there was speculation the rockets may have come from a French submarine near St-Pierre-Miquelon, since a few days later the French government announced test-fires of its new M51 ballistic missiles were successful.

In a phone call Friday, however, the Directorate General of Armament for France said that the ballistic test-fires took place on Jan. 27, and not on Jan. 25, the day of the sightings off Newfoundland.

It is not clear if new information was uncovered about the UFO sighting since Feb. 1, as that date marked the closing time frame for the Access to Information request.

CBC News is awaiting the Department of Public Safety's response to the question of whether or not the UFO was eventually identified.

Source: CBC
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/newfoundland-labrador/story/2010/05/28/ufo-newfoundland-dnd.html

- THE GREAT AIR RAID SCARE OF 1942 DEPARTMENT -

Aliens Like Us

Anthropologist Scott Littleton believes the truth is out there, somewhere.

“To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational,” says Stephen Hawking, in the new Discovery Channel series Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking. “The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be like.” Hawking is the author of the 1988 best-seller A Brief History of Time.

“We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet,” he says. “I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonize whatever planets they can reach.”

But trying to make contact with alien races is “a little too risky,” he says. “If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.”

But maybe Hawking is being a little simple—or hasn’t seen Avatar. Regardless, Lord Martin Rees begs to differ with the world’s most famous theoretical physicist.

In January, Rees, astronomer to the Queen and a professor of cosmology and astrophysics in the Institute of Astronomy at Cambridge, spoke at the Royal Society of London conference, “The Detection of Extra-terrestrial Life and the Consequences for Science and Society.”

Rees, president of the Royal Society, which celebrated its 350th anniversary this year, said: “I suspect there could be life and intelligence out there in forms we can’t conceive. Just as a chimpanzee can’t understand quantum theory, it could be there are aspects of reality that are beyond the capacity of our brains. They could be staring us in the face and we just don’t recognize them. The problem is that we’re looking for something very much like us, assuming that they at least have something like the same mathematics and technology.”

So, what’s up with all this talk about aliens? Scott Littleton, an expert on Arthurian legend and professor emeritus of anthropology at Occidental College in Los Angeles, has some answers.

"You were eight years old and growing up in Hermosa Beach, when, in the early hours of Feb. 25, 1942, you witnessed what came to be known as the “Battle of Los Angeles.” What happened?"

Littleton: First, remember, this was soon after Pearl Harbor, and two days after the Elwood Oil installation off Santa Barbara had been shelled by a Japanese submarine that had surfaced there. Anyway, I’m sleeping, when suddenly I heard the anti-aircraft guns going. This was about 3:15 a.m. I noticed the sky was very bright, so I look out the window and I see searchlight beams and shells exploding overhead. Something crazy was going on. My father said, “I better see what is going on, this might be the real thing.” So he threw on his air warden gear and went out. My father soon ran back in and says, “Everybody get down in the bomb shelter.” So we all go into the basement, in these old cramped quarters. And my mother was there for about 30 seconds, then she hustles out this little door and I snuck out behind her and we saw practically overhead—and I swear to this day it was hovering—this lozenge-shaped object like an elongated silver bug directly overhead. And outlined by seven or eight searchlight beams. They had it pinpointed. But it was glowing in addition to the searchlight beams. And it was surrounded by exploding shells that were falling on the beach.

"How long did you and your mother observe this thing?"

Littleton: We were outside for ten minutes or so. It was hovering directly overhead. Then it began to lose altitude and veered inland over Rodando Beach and we lost sight of it. If, as some people have suggested, it was a barrage balloon that had drifted, these anti-aircraft shells would have torn it to pieces. My guess is that it was surrounded by a forcefield of some sort that protected it—like something out of Star Wars.

"How long did it take you to start thinking of it as a UFO and not just an unexplained phenomenon?"

Littleton: Decades. Not until the late ’70s. Afterwards, Frank Knox, the secretary of the Navy, held a press conference and said it was a “false alarm” due to “war nerves.” To this day that is the official interpretation. [Editors note: A Long Beach Independent editorial put it this way:”There is a mysterious reticence about the whole affair and it appears that some form of censorship is trying to halt discussion on the matter.”]

"But there is not just that one dramatic sighting, there are scores and scores of such sightings. People see things flying around in the atmosphere. And you think these are objects that have come from somewhere else. As an anthropologist, what is your explanation for this?"

Littleton: I wish I had an explanation. The UFO phenomenon has been around for at least 10,000 years. A case can be made that our earliest ancestors noted them on cave walls in the Late or Upper Paleolithic.

Some people are convinced that the creatures who fly the things are responsible for bioengineering the human race. That’s ridiculous. You don’t need aliens to account for the evolution of homo sapiens.

I do think that they’re probes. At the beginning of the Ice Age, they discovered creatures who were intelligent but vastly more primitive than themselves. And—here I’m projecting my thoughts into their heads—they were curious and wanted to see what would happen to these creatures.

"For all we know, these creatures and their craft are the equivalent of a mechanical rabbit at a dog track. We don’t know what’s being shown to us."

Littleton: I see that, but I do think that you have to pay attention to the vast amount of anecdotal evidence. Nobody to my knowledge has a real picture of an alien. Nevertheless, there seem to be several varieties. And my hunch is—using the principle of parsimony, Occam’s razor—it’s better to assume that they originate in this universe and in this galaxy and probably in this corner of this galaxy. That is, within a several hundred light-year range.

"If they’re using some type of technology that allows them to travel at light speed, then one has to think that at some point in the development of the universe some race developed this technology and at some point would have propagated it so that an intergalactic civilization would be not just a few thousand years ahead of us, but a million years ahead of us."

Littleton: I understand that hypothesis. But if they’re vastly superior to us, why were they having so many crashes in the late ’40s and early ’50s? Somebody that far ahead, you wouldn’t expect to have operational failures. That’s what intrigues me.

"As a former bureaucrat, I’d say that even in a bureaucracy that’s been around for a while you’re going to have things that don’t work as often as they do work."

Littleton: Well yeah, technology isn’t infallible.

"So you’ve got somebody driving around who doesn’t know how to fix it, something goes wrong. There could be a lot of different explanations."

Littleton: Flying under the influence?

"Yeah. [Laughs.]"

Littleton: I would peg them at thousands of years ahead of us rather than millions.

"You have the hypothesis that there is a sort of Star Trek prime directive where the intergalactic civilization is not supposed to contact the primitive world, and that then you have some races of aliens who are breaking these rules."

Littleton: I’m skeptical of people who suggest that they built the pyramids or built Stonehenge. On a whim, someone might have violated the rules and helped nudge a stone into place and was called on the carpet for it. But we have some interesting mythological ways to think about this. One of those involves the “rebel deity.”

Prometheus is the archetype, the god who is a culture-bearer but then goes away. In fact, Montezuma thought that Cortez was that deity coming back. He found out later that that was incorrect. And Lucifer, the rebel angel that comes down and gives human beings wisdom. He does the same thing that Prometheus does, but the only difference from the Hellenic tradition is that Prometheus is a hero and in the Biblical tradition Lucifer is a villain.

"You have had a long and distinguished teaching career. At what point did you start talking publicly about UFOs?"

Littleton: The point at which I couldn’t be fired. A number of well-known academics involved in this subject have suffered from retaliation. There was an unsuccessful attempt to remove tenure from the late John Mack, who was a psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School and a Pulitzer Prize-winning author [in 1977 for A Prince of Our Disorder: The Life of T E. Lawrence]. Others have not been so lucky. So I started to come out of the UFO closet by the end of my teaching career. But I confess: I was a little reticent to do so.

"I interviewed Edgar Mitchell once, the sixth man to walk on the moon. He believes in UFOs. He is also from Roswell [N.M., the site of the alleged UFO crash in June or July 1947]. Did you know that?"

Littleton: Yes, I did in fact.

This exchange was adapted from a podcast interview on ElectricPolitics.com.

Source: In These Times
http://inthesetimes.com/article/5997/aliens_like_us

- BEAM ME UP SCOTTY DEPARTMENT -

Quantum Teleportation Over 10 Miles Achieved

Beam Us Up Teleportation doesn't work for humans — yet — but it works over long distances, a new study reports. Scientists in China have broken the record for quantum teleportation, achieving a distance of about 10 miles, according to a new study in Nature Photonics. That's a giant leap from previous achievements.

The feat brings us closer to communicating information without needing a traditional signal transmission, the researchers note.

Although it's called teleportation, no matter is really moved. Rather, the quantum state of one object is transferred to another object.

It works by entangling two objects, like photons or ions. The first teleportation experiments involved beams of light. Once the objects are entangled, they're connected by an invisible wave, like a thread or umbilical cord. That means when something is done to one object, it immediately happens to the other object, too. Einstein called this "spooky action at a distance."

Until now, this has only been achieved with particles that are at most a couple hundred feet apart. And those distances have been accomplished with fiber channels, which help preserve the photons' state.

In the latest experiment, researchers entangled two photons and zapped the higher-energy one through a special 10-mile-long free-space tunnel, instead of a fiber one. The distant photon was still able to respond to the changes in state of the photon left behind, an unprecedented achievement.

It worked because the team "maximally entangled" the photons, using spatial and polarization modes, according to Ars Technica. About 89 percent of the information was maintained, also an improvement over previous experiments.

The work was done at the Hefei National Laboratory for Physical Sciences at Microscale and the Department of Modern Physics, University of Science and Technology of China, Hefei.

Though a 10-mile teleportation is impressive, there's still a long way to go before information can safely be sent this way. Photons are good at transmitting information, but ions are better at allowing manipulation, which would be necessary for encryption, Ars Technica notes.

(Thanks to James Haarp for sending us this article.)

Source: Popular Science
http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2010-05/researchers-achieve-
quantum-teleportation-over-10-miles

- LAIR OF THE BEASTS DEPARTMENT -

The Bodalog Monster, A Killer on the Loose
By Nick Redfern   
 
Sometimes, in an investigation of the cryptozoological kind, not only do we not catch the critter in question, but we don’t even get a good handle on what it is, where it came from, or to where it ultimately went. Such are the trials and tribulations of a monster-hunter!
 
A classic example of this is the very strange – and now-largely-forgotten – story of what became known as the Beast of Bodalog that briefly captured the attention of the British public and the nation’s media in the late 1980s.
 
The oldest town in mid-Wales, and with an abundance of old standing-stones at the foot of which the ancients dutifully worshipped, Rhayader is, to this day, an atmospheric locale and one filled to the brim with rich history and magical folklore. For example, 5000-year-old Neolithic axes are periodically discovered there, and in 1899 a collection of gold jewellery was unearthed on nearby Gwastedyn Hill that was thought to originate with a legendary, 5th century princess named Rowena - the daughter of the Anglo-Saxon leader, Hengest, and wife to High King Vortigern; a powerful and brutal warlord in his own right.
 
Against this historic backdrop, between September and December 1988, a series of very weird animal-killings occurred in and around the vicinity of Rhayader that had the people of the area in absolute fits of frenzy and fear. The Bodalog Farm suffered greatly: no less than thirty-five sheep were mutilated and slaughtered in that particular time-frame by a highly stealthy, and unknown, predator whose modus operandi was always the same: a deep and fatal bite to the sternum.
 
Fox-hounds were quickly dispatched and even picked up the scent of the mysterious killer on several occasions; yet, on each and every occasion, it utterly thwarted and eluded them. Although both the local and national press made very big waves about a marauding and savage “black panther” being on the loose, the fact of the matter was that, in reality, something much, much stranger was afoot.
 
For example, on no occasion was any tell-tale paw-print ever found that might have led one to assume that a large cat of some type was indeed roaming the area, as the media had suggested might very well have been the case.
 
Instead, those whose sheep had been fatally savaged, found corridors of field and grassland that had been laid totally flat by whatever had been circling and stalking the sheep – something that suggested in the minds of many the image of a huge, heavy, slithering snake on the loose. This particular theory was given more credence when further areas of flattened grass were uncovered: they led to no less a source than the nearby River Wye.
 
The conclusion, for many of the farmers that worked the land, was near-inescapable and overwhelmingly ominous: something monstrous and unspeakable was surfacing from the dark waters late at night, was making its careful way to the fields, and was then – with truly frightening speed and precision - mutilating the sundry animal population of Rhayader. There was even talk of the animals at issue being drained of huge quantities of blood. No wonder, then, that the townsfolk were keeping their doors firmly locked at night.
 
The giant-snake theory was ingenious; however, as Richard Freeman, of Britain’s Center for Fortean Zoology, noted: “Britain’s only venomous snake, the adder – Vipera berus – is far too small to have killed all these sheep. This case begs many odd questions: why would an animal go to all the trouble of wasting venom and energy killing so many sheep, then not eat any? If it was a large, exotic, venomous snake that had escaped from captivity, how did it cope with October in Wales?”
 
Freeman was absolutely right: the cold, harsh Welsh weather at that time of year would certainly have rendered any large snake practically immobile – if not dead. The mystery, needless to say, continued. And, indeed, it was never resolved. Whatever the true nature of the Beast of Bodalog it vanished as mysteriously as it first surfaced; unless, that is, you know better...

Source: Mania
http://www.mania.com/lair-beasts-bodalog-monster_article_122821.html

- CALL OF THE WILD DEPARTMENT -

Cambodian 'Jungle Woman' Flees Back to Wild

Cambodia's "jungle woman", who spent 18 years living in a dense forest, has fled back to the wild after struggling to adapt to society.

Rochom P'ngieng, now 29 years old, first disappeared into thick hilly jungle in 1989 when she was a little girl. She was "discovered" in early 2007 and reunited with her family.

However, attempts to reintegrate her have failed. She has not learnt either of the local languages, Khmer or Phnang, prefers to crawl rather than walk, refuses to wear clothes and has made several attempts to return to the forest where she grew up.
 
Her father, Sal Lou, a policeman, said that she had been making progress recently, but disappeared on Tuesday evening. "She took off her clothes and ran away from the house without saying a word to any of our family members," Mr Lou said.

"Even the day before she fled the house, she still helped the family pick vegetables. She must have gone back to the forest and we still cannot find her." The dramatic reappearance and attempted reintegration of the "jungle girl" has gripped Cambodia, where she is also known as the "half-animal girl" because of her hunched appearance and the fact she makes animal noises rather than speaking.

Mr Lou blames his daughter's second disappearance on "forest spirits". In a society shrouded in mystic beliefs, he has also enlisted a fortune teller to help with the search. He is saving up for an offering of one wild ox, one pig, one chicken and four jugs of wine, which, the mystic assures him, will secure his daughter's return.

A separate theory was offered by local rights group, Ad hoc, which believes that the woman struggled to readapt to society and suffers from stress. "She must have experienced traumatic events in the jungle that have affected her ability to speak," said Penn Bunna.

Rochom first disappeared in 1989 while herding water buffalo with her sister in the province of Ratanakkiri, 400 miles north-east of Phnom Penh.

Her sister has never been found, but Rochom emerged from the jungle, filthy, naked, scared and "looking like a monkey" in February 2007.

She was caught stealing food from a farmer's lunch box after a stakeout.

Locals reported sightings of her with a naked man carrying a sword, who they believe to be a jungle spirit.

Her parents, who had long given up hope of seeing their daughters again, identified her from a scar on her arm and welcomed her back into the family.

However, Mr Lou refused a DNA test. A Cambodian non-governmental organisation believes that it is impossible that a girl of eight could survive in the jungle and that she was actually brought up in captivity.

Neighbours and local authorities are helping the family with the search, but the jungles of Ratanakkiri are among Cambodia's wildest and most isolated.

In November 2004, 34 people from a pro-Khmer Rouge tribe emerged from the jungle where they had been hiding since the fall of the regime in 1979.

Source: Telegraph (UK)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/cambodia/7777904/Cambodian-
jungle-woman-flees-back-to-wild.html

- DAYS OF FUTURE PAST DEPARTMENT -

Future Imperfect

Any time-travelling visitors to our world can expect a frosty reception

Time travellers don’t get a very good press in our world; it’s fair to say that any authentic visitors from the future who declared themselves would, in all probability, be sectioned as deluded and dangerous. It’s easy to understand the reason for this. Towards the end of July 2009, New Zealander Mark Paul Warren, 26, was found not guilty, by reason of insanity, of killing two people in 2007 by driving dangerously near Auckland airport at Mangere. Warren, who had no licence, had been travell­ing at 166km/h when he smashed into another car; passengers in both cars died, while Warren and the other driver spent months in hosp­ital. After he told police that he had been in a time machine and needed to exceed 100km/h to become invisible, he was committed to a facility in Hamilton specialising in treating acute mental illness. [NZPA] 31 July 2009.

Michael McDermott, 43, said that when he entered the office of the software company in Boston where he worked in December 2000, he believed he had, in his words, “entered a time portal that transported me to Hitler’s bunker in 1940. The Archangel Michael promised me a soul as a reward if I killed members of the Nazi High Command and prevent[ed] the Holocaust. The last Nazi was there. I shot and killed him. Hitler was there. I shot and killed him. My mission was complete. I had a soul.” He had, in fact, killed seven colleagues with an AK-47 rifle and a pump-action shotgun, while his co-workers cowered under their desks and begged for their lives (FT161:16). In April 2002, a Massachusetts court convicted McDermott of first-degree murder on all counts, after the jury agreed with the prosecution’s case – that McDermott was attempting to appear insane while angry at the company for withholding wages to pay outstanding taxes. It is surprising that computer-games were not blamed! D.Telegraph, 25 April 2002.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC), which failed to end our existence by creating mini black holes, figured in one of this year’s best April Fool spoofs: a report of an attempt to sabotage the Swiss collider by a “strangely dressed young man wearing a bow-tie and rather too much tweed for his age”. The intruder, who gave his name as Eloi was allegedly spotted by CERN security “rooting around in bins” claiming to be looking for fuel for his “time machine power unit” which “resembled a kitchen blender”. At this point, most folk got the Doctor Who references. The joke appeared in the ‘Crave’ section of CNET, an online electronics review magazine, headlined: “Man arrested at LHC claims he’s from the future”. “Countries do not exist where I come from,” he told Crave. “The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power [..] It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I’m here to stop it happening.” Crave, 1 April 2010

This may well have been inspired by a noted opinion-piece by Dennis Overbye in the New York Times (October 2009), commenting on papers by two physicists who sought to explain the run of bad-luck at the LHC, where a series of malfunctions scuppered important experiments to detect the long-sought Higgs boson. In papers with such titles as ‘Search for Future Influence From LHC’ – posted on Cornell Univers­ity’s physics website arXiv.org – the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen suggested, half in jest, that the Higgs boson was so “abhorrent to nature” that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery [FT257:9].

Most recently, an amusing piece of Internet detritus – revealed on the forgetomori, FARK and Above Top Secret blogs – caused a modest flurry of interest, with the suggest­ion that a time-travelling “hipster” was caught on several period photographs of the re-opening of the South Fork Bridge at Goldberg, British Colombia, after it had collapsed the previous year. The original photos appear on the Bralorne Pioneer Museum website; however, subsequent research has shown that the young man’s natty sunglasses, printed T-shirt and camera (which had so convinced many credul­ous Internet viewers) were all available in the early 1940s. There is still the possibility that there are circle-maker-like pranksters out there, photoshopping old archive images and inserting them into online archives to be discovered in due time… or that genuine time-travellers are researching their travel-wear with due dilig­ence.

Source: Fortean Times
http://www.forteantimes.com/strangedays/misc/3514/future_imperfect.html

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