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What's the matter bucko, tired of those flying saucer people pestering you every day with their tales of woe and Armageddon? Are you scared of the government and their corporate cronies looking for new ways to spy on you and take away your personal rights and freedoms? Are you sick to death of those pesky Men-In-Black harassing you because of those unwanted contacts with those flying saucer folks and government agents? Well cheer up, because once again, like a bolt of awareness and enlightenment from the sky, Conspiracy Journal is here to uncover all those dirty little secrets that THEY are trying to hide! So sit back and relax and enjoy another thought-provoking issue of the number one e-mail newsletter of conspiracies, UFOs the paranormal and more.
This week, Conspiracy Journal takes a look at such eyebrow-raising stories as:
- Sun Rises Two Days Early in Greenland -
- Shift in Magnetic North Pole Affects Tampa Airport -
- Argentina: Another Water Tank Mysteriously Emptied -
- Mammoth 'Could be Reborn in Four Years' -
AND: Six Crackpot Conspiracy Theories (That Actually Happened)
~ And Now, On With The Show! ~
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- SOME SCARY STUFF DEPARTMENT -
Sun Rises Two Days Early in Greenland
The sun over Greenland has risen two days early, baffling scientists and sparking fears that Arctic icecaps are melting faster than previously thought.
Experts say the sun should have risen over the Arctic nation's most westerly town, Ilulissat, on Thursday, January 13, ending a month-and-a-half of winter darkness.
But for the first time in history light began creeping over the horizon at around 1pm on Tuesday, January 11 - 48 hours ahead of the usual date of January 13.
The mysterious sunrise has confused scientists, although it is believed the most likely explanation is that it is down to the lower height of melting icecaps allowing the sun's light to penetrate through earlier.
Thomas Posch, of the Institute for Astronomy of the University of Vienna, said that a local change of the horizon was 'by far the most obvious explanation'.
He said as the ice sinks, so to does the horizon, creating the illusion that the sun has risen early.
This theory, based on the gradual decline of Greenland's ice sheet, is backed by recent climate studies.
A report by the World Meteorology Organisation shows that temperatures in Greenland have risen around 3C above average over the last year.
It also reported that December was much warmer than usual with rainfall instead of snow recorded for the first time in Kuujjuaq since records began.
It has even been suggested that the sun's early appearance could have an astronomical explanation.
But Wolfgang Lenhardt, director of the department of geophysics at the Central Institute for Meteorology in Vienna, scotched this theory.
He said: 'The constellation of the stars has not changed. If that had happened, there would have been an outcry around the world.
'The data of the Earth's axis and Earth's rotation are monitored continuously and meticulously and we would know if that had happened.'
Source: The Daily Mail
- THE WANDERING POLE DEPARTMENT -
Shift in Magnetic North Pole Affects Tampa Airport
Runways at a Florida airport are to be given brand new numbers, but not for cosmetic reasons - the changes are thanks to movement in the Earth's magnetic field.
Changes in our planet's core are causing the north magnetic pole to speed towards Russia at nearly 40 miles a year.
But the affects of the magnetic shift are being felt over 3,500 miles south of the Arctic - at Tampa International Airport.
The Sunshine State hub has been forced to shut down its primary runway so that numeric designators at the end of runways and taxiway signage can be altered to account for the magnetic pole's movement.
'The magnetic poles actually shift, they are constantly in movement and when pilots align themselves with the runway they align their compass to the runway so they have to match,' said Tampa International Airport Director of Operations Robert Burr.
'So as the poles have shifted, the compass has shifted, so we have to make sure the runways are consistent with the compass for the aircraft.'
The location of the magnetic north pole, most recently recorded at Ellesmere Island in northern Canada, remains a vital fact for compass users, even though satellite-powered global positioning systems have become commonplace.
The magnetic shift may sound dramatic but its slow pace - and the comparative strength of the Earth's magnetic field - means people have little to fear.
A complete inversion of the magnetic poles would have a greater impact, though its effects would primarily be limited to the animal kingdom, with birds choosing to fly south for the summer and north for the winter, and herding creatures confused over the ideal habitat.
Global impact: The movement of the north magnetic pole, currently at Ellesmere Island, means a cosmetic change for Tampa airport, 3658 miles to the south
While most of us would be entirely unaware of the movement of the north magnetic pole, Tampa residents will feel its effects first-hand, as the airport changes will lead to more noise pollution.
Tampa's busiest runway, the west parallel, is to be shut down for a week, resulting in increased traffic on the east parallel runway and more noise for South Tampa residential areas.
The repainted numbers will not seem especially different to airport passengers but will provide vital navigational information for incoming and outgoing aircraft.
The west parallel is to be re-designated 19R/1L on aviation chart, from its current designation of 18R/36L.
Its previous name indicated its alignment along a 180-degree approach from the north and the 360-degree approach from the south, with the '18' indicating it ran 180 degrees from north.
The change to a '19' means the west parallel runway is now leaning slightly to the west.
The airport's east parallel runway and its rarely-used east-west runway will also be closed later this month to alter their signage to their magnetically-changed designations.
The movement of the Earth's north magnetic pole towards Siberia are caused by rapid changes in the magnetism of the planet's core.
The latest changes are the most dramatic in a century - the pole had been begun moving to the northeast at about 9 miles per year in 1904 but since 2007 has been racing towards Siberia by at least 35 miles each year.
Source: The Daily Mail
- THE SCIENCE OF UFOS DEPARTMENT -
Someday, the Pipeline Will Run Dry
So, like, what’s up with Saudi Arabia?
In 2006, the House of Saud shelled out who knows how much to attract world-class business, tech, political and intellectual luminaries to an international summit called the Global Competiveness Forum; they injected it with steroids by nailing Bill Gates as the headliner. Last year, former UK prime minister Tony Blair topped the marquee.
On Jan. 22-25, this opportunity-hunting expedition into the 21st century will enter its fifth year in Riyadh when power hitters like the chairmen of Walt Disney International, PriceWaterhouseCoopers, and China’s First Eastern Development join the CEOs of Rolls-Royce, Alcoa, Putnam Investments, and OneSun Energy — to name just a few — for a powwow called “Innovations as a Means to Competitiveness.” If you haven’t already paid your $4,000 early-registration fee, tough nuts. Now it’ll cost you $5,000. And the GCS is anticipating 800 attendees a day.
But yo — what’s this? On 1/23 there’s an hour and 15-minute program called “Learning From Outer Space.” Check out the lineup: progressive physicist Michio Kaku and UFO investigators Jacques Vallee, Nick Pope, and Stan Friedman. “When they contacted me about it a few months ago, I said ‘I have to tell you I’m Jewish,’” Friedman recalls with a chuckle, “and they said, ‘That won’t be a problem.’”
Like most regular mortals, Friedman hadn’t heard of this event before, either. But from his home in New Brunswick, Canada, the author of Flying Saucers and Science — among other things — commends the Saudis for paying more than lip service to an “Innovations” summit.
“Our perceptions of what is feasible are shaped by what we know can be done, but my mantra has always been that progress comes from doing things differently in an unpredictable way,” says the nuclear physicist. “For instance, what’s this nonsense about restricting ourselves to chemical rockets? Come on. I worked on fission and fusion rockets in the Sixties.
“Nuclear-powered aircraft carriers can operate for 18 years without refueling; it changed warfare forever. An advanced civilization with just a 100-year head start on us would have figured that out because that’s what fuels the stars.”
But to push it to the next level, Friedman says, science “has to make a list of things UFOs can do that we can’t do. We can’t back up in mid-flight. We can’t make instant right-angle turns. We can’t fly silently, for the most part, and get around sonic booms. But if a craft can interact with its surroundings, you can get around all those problems.”
Astonishing, the idea of Saudi Arabia being more inquisitive than the British Royal Society in the vision department. Friedman calls it “such a puzzle” to be included on a card “with a list of who’s who in the international business world.”
On the other hand, maybe the GCF’s intention to “expose a lot of people to the different paths to be taken to new ideas” isn’t so mysterious at all, Friedman says. “Maybe they think there’s something better than oil.”
No doubt, the Kingdom has the money to find out.
Source: De Void/Billy Cox
- SO VERY THIRSTY DEPARTMENT -
Argentina: Another Water Tank Mysteriously Emptied
[One of the most perplexing anomalies in Argentina – tied to UFO and cattle mutilation phenomena – is the emptying of large water tanks (locally known as tanques australianos – “Australian tanks”) from one day to the next. Water is also drained from other sources, including ponds and swimming pools. This report from Luis Burgos of FAO concerns the latest in such developments – SC]
“We were having lunch on Sunday with a cousin who owns a field in the vicinity of the “La Vidriera” salt flats. In order to spend time with us, he left another relative alone in the field in charge of the animals. Just as we were done eating, the relative phoned him in a state of near-derangement. The previous day he had filled up the water tank shut the windmill down because the tank was full. It has a capacity of 60,000 liters (16,000 gallons) of water more or less.
But there was not a drop to be found on Sunday morning. No sign of puddles or spills around the tank. No cracks on the tank’s floor either. He told me, furthermore, that it has a 6 inch flood cap and when they drain it, it takes more than half a day to empty it out completely.
The temperatures were in excess of 36 centigrade at the time, and I put off further research until the next day (Monday morning). But by then, the other relative had filled up the tank, because the animals had been left without any drinking water. Therefore I no longer wanted to go in person.
This is the second time that this has happened. The first time was some 15 years ago. A bit of information I forgot to mention is that there were no missing animals. It should be ascertained if any neighbors were missing livestock.”
(Translation (c) 2011, S. Corrales, IHU. Special thanks to Luis Burgos, FAO and Guillermo Gimenez, Planeta UFO)
Source: Inexplicata/Ciencia OVNI
- LOOKING FORWARD TO MAMMOTH STEAKS DEPARTMENT -
Mammoth 'Could be Reborn in Four Years'
The woolly mammoth, extinct for thousands of years, could be brought back to life in as little as four years thanks to a breakthrough in cloning technology.
Previous efforts in the 1990s to recover nuclei in cells from the skin and muscle tissue from mammoths found in the Siberian permafrost failed because they had been too badly damaged by the extreme cold.
But a technique pioneered in 2008 by Dr. Teruhiko Wakayama, of the Riken Centre for Developmental Biology, was successful in cloning a mouse from the cells of another mouse that had been frozen for 16 years.
Now that hurdle has been overcome, Akira Iritani, a professor at Kyoto University, is reactivating his campaign to resurrect the species that died out 5,000 years ago.
"Now the technical problems have been overcome, all we need is a good sample of soft tissue from a frozen mammoth," he told The Daily Telegraph.
He intends to use Dr Wakayama's technique to identify the nuclei of viable mammoth cells before extracting the healthy ones.
The nuclei will then be inserted into the egg cells of an African elephant, which will act as the surrogate mother for the mammoth.
Professor Iritani said he estimates that another two years will be needed before the elephant can be impregnated, followed by the approximately 600-day gestation period.
He has announced plans to travel to Siberia in the summer to search for mammoths in the permafrost and to recover a sample of skin or tissue that can be as small as 3cm square. If he is unsuccessful, the professor said, he will ask Russian scientists to provide a sample from one of their finds.
"The success rate in the cloning of cattle was poor until recently but now stands at about 30 per cent," he said. "I think we have a reasonable chance of success and a healthy mammoth could be born in four or five years."
Source: The Telegraph (UK)
- SEE, WE TOLD YOU SO DEPARTMENT -
Six Crackpot Conspiracy Theories (That Actually Happened)
We really do try very hard here at Cracked to maintain a no-bullshit policy. We're not the goddamned New York Times, but we do try to make sure we don't repeat a claim unless we can link to a smarter group of people who confirm it. We kind of think everyone who touches a keyboard should do that.
But in the course of looking down our noses at the nutjobs who spread urban legends and conspiracy theories, we have to sometimes stop and point out that there are downright terrifying historical precedents for even their craziest of claims.
#6. The Government Is Transmitting Thoughts Into Our Brains!
This is the stereotypical "tin foil hat" conspiracy theory that the government has the ability to beam thoughts into or out of your skull using its Illuminati mind-ray technology. This is a favorite of crazy people because, well, they're crazy, and hearing strange voices in your head is as common a symptom of craziness as you'll find. Assassins Mark Chapman and Sirhan Sirhan both claimed to hear voices in their heads telling them to murder their targets.
But they're not the only ones who have ever claimed to hear voices broadcast directly into their heads. All over the country, people who aren't murdering beloved public figures have also asserted that the United States government is trying to control their minds by transmitting thoughts directly into their brains. Which is why some of them elect to don the aforementioned tinfoil headgear -- to keep the voices out. This is why the tinfoil hat has become the emblem of all things conspiracy-related, mocked in movies and elsewhere.
Why It's Not So Crazy
They can totally beam voices into your head.
In 2006, a guy whom multiple counselors labeled as a "paranoid schizophrenic" filed a Freedom of Information Act petition requesting all declassified government documents pertaining to covert attempts at microwave auditory effect, telepathy and hypnosis. While no one was surprised that a guy who once complained that the backs of his shoes were vaporized by an electromagnetic weapon would go through the effort of filing the request, a lot of people shit a brick when they saw the papers that came back.
Page after page of verified government documents confirmed that taxpayer dollars had funded research on everything from a telepathic ray gun to fever lasers that made victims disoriented and less aggressive. And, yes, one of the released tests even broadcast a person's voice telepathically by "using close-range microwaves ... to project the spoken numbers 1 to 10 across a lab to volunteers."
Inside their heads.
So, not only is this technology possible, the government has toyed with using it. And considering the United States government's track record with mind control, well ...
#5. The Census Is a Tool for Government Oppression!
Most of us didn't give a second thought to filling out our census forms last year. But among the loonier elements of American society, speculation abounded about what exactly the government was going to do with all that data it collected, other than, you know, allocate congressional seats. One conservative website speculated that GPS coordinates of households collected by census workers would possibly prepare UN soldiers for a U.S. invasion. Congresswoman Michele Bachmann even stated that she and her family would refuse to answer any census questions beyond how many people were in her household, because "the Constitution doesn't require any information beyond that."
Thanks to the fact that, yes it does, Bachmann took a lot of heat for her paranoid rhetoric. Especially when the actual results of the census led to speculation that her own state might lose a congressional district.
So, we could all sit back and laugh at the paranoid types who thought the government was going to use the census to round us up and put us into camps.
Why It's Not So Crazy
The U.S. government totally once used census data to round people up and put them in camps.
After years of hearing nothing but denial, in 2007 the world found out that the U.S. Census Bureau actually did assist the Secret Service in rounding up Japanese-Americans for internment. And it was given the authority to do so by an executive emergency law enacted by then-president Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Prior to the Second War Powers Act of 1942, information collected by census takers was confidential and protected. But once Pearl Harbor was bombed and the U.S. got its frenetic anti-Asian ball rolling, all bets were off for any American whose eyes weren't shaped "white." So when the Secret Service came knocking on the Census Bureau's door for the names and addresses of Japanese-Americans, even the ones who were citizens, the data collectors were willing to oblige. The law that gave the government that authority wasn't repealed until after the war ended.
And that wasn't the last time racial data were handed over in a politically charged atmosphere. In 2004, the Census Bureau took a beating for giving the Department of Homeland Security information about Arab Americans, including ZIP codes with dense Arab populations. Some speculated that the data even led to the deportation of people who wouldn't have otherwise been targeted.
#4. The Government Controls the Media!
The logic behind this gem goes a little something like this: The mainstream media never report on government conspiracies; Therefore ...
The mainstream media are in on government conspiracies. ERGO, The government controls the media.
The believers of this idea don't just take for granted the so-called liberal bias demonstrated by media outlets across the board. What these guys allege is much more sinister: that the federal government is in charge of media outlets across the board. Not just moderating or regulating, but controlling what we see, hear and read. One conspiracy site speculates that the government exercises its control not just through content but through the information released through government spokesmen, through subsidies, press passes and embedded reporters in wartime. In other words, everything that government officials touch with regards to the media is just another way for them to control it.
The plot of the Robert DeNiro movie Wag the Dog involved a president actually fabricating an entire war, with the news media obediently publishing story after story at the government's behest. Ridiculous, right?
Why It's Not So Crazy
Beginning in 1948, a man named Frank Wisner ran a branch of the CIA called the Office of Policy Coordination and was given all sorts of secret authority to pretty much do any awful thing he felt like if it advanced his version of American ideology. Under that sleazy umbrella, Wisner began Operation Mockingbird, which was his effort to infiltrate every major media outlet with journalists and editors who were in his pocket.
By the mid-50s, the CIA had over 400 journalists working with them across the country. And these guys weren't just cub reporters, either. They included top level employees from all three major networks as well as The New York Times, Time Inc. and Associated Press, all not only capable of planting pro-government stories in their respective media but also able to suppress anything that wasn't government-friendly. And the whole shebang was so easy to accomplish because, as one operative noted, "You could get a journalist cheaper than a good call girl, for a couple hundred dollars a month."
The good news is that Operation Mockingbird was exposed and disbanded by the mid-70s. The bad news is that even in the past decade, the government has had its sticky fingers all over wartime reporting and is still using psychological warfare to get the entire world on our side. It's working like a dream, guys!
#3. Government Agents Are Like, Everywhere, Man!
One common thread that runs through all good conspiracy theories is that the people who believe them think they're being watched. And not just through Enemy of the State surveillance technology, either, but by actual flesh-and-blood government agents, following them down dark alleys.
Yeah, like their little group of protesters and vegans is soooo important that the government is going to pay somebody a full-time salary to do nothing but watch them. Like some kid's hippie college newsletter about how the oil companies own Washington is totally going to warrant the government planting a spook at the local Starbucks to spy on him while he slathers cream cheese on his Hawaiian bagel and bangs away on his laptop.
Why It's Not So Crazy
Through a program called COINTELPRO, J. Edgar Hoover and his FBI buds used actual government agents to infiltrate the the civil rights movement, the Black Panthers, anti-Vietnam groups, women's rights groups, the National Lawyers Guild and many, many others in an effort to neutralize and/or radicalize them.
Oh, and any individuals who took a perceived anti-government stance were targeted as well.
For most people, the 1950s brings to mind images of poodle skirts, phone booths stuffed with teenagers and children running willy-nilly with small mammal hides on their heads, but when it comes to privacy, the 50s were a pretty sinister time. Especially if you were, uh, anyone who disagreed with the government in any way at all.
COINTELPRO inserted spies into Martin Luther King Jr.'s inner circle to report on all his movements and activities, and it effectively destroyed the Black Panther Party by encouraging armed action against other black nationalist groups, smear campaigns against key members and outright targeted attacks. The result was that the group became splintered and the rest of the country didn't take them seriously as a political force.
Even though COINTELPRO activities were exposed and banned by the '70s, we still see little baby COINTELPRO efforts pop up today, like when the FBI targeted "domestic terrorist organizations" like Greenpeace and PETA along with evil Quakers. Or when one Obama adviser suggested infiltrating conspiracy theory message boards with secret agents who would discredit "false conspiracy theories about the government." Because apparently, people on conspiracy theory message boards would never appreciate the irony.
#2. The Government Is Poisoning What We Eat and Drink!
If you're looking for a fun way to spend a Saturday night, Google the words "fluoride" and "Nazi." What you'll find is that, according to many, many conspiracy theorists, the Third Reich fluoridated the water of concentration campers to keep them docile. What you'll also learn is that a buttload of people think that modern governments are doing the same thing when they put fluoride in tap water. And that's just the tip of the contaminated iceberg; nearly everything from artificial sweeteners (forced on the American people by Donald Rumsfeld!) to vaccines (a government plot to sterilize the populace!) are secret efforts by the government to poison the population in an effort to control us.
Much like the Moon Pie.
Why It's Not So Crazy
OK, all of that stuff is probably bullshit. But during Prohibition, the government wanted a way to discourage people from drinking alcohol beyond the traditional "arrest everyone caught with it" method. So, they did exactly what the conspiracy wackjobs accuse them of today: The government intentionally put poison in it. They apparently thought this would be a deterrent, but they VASTLY underestimated the population's desire to get drunk. By the time Prohibition ended in 1933, the federal poisoning program had killed at least 10,000 people.
But hey, at least they were sober corpses.
Yes, that happened. And that wasn't the last time Uncle Sam tried his hand at contaminating our favorite intoxicants. In the 1970s, the American government sprayed marijuana fields in Mexico with a toxic chemical called paraquat. Mexican pot growers quickly learned that if they harvested their plants immediately after spraying, the chemical wouldn't kill off their crops. As a result, tons of pesticide-laced pot got mixed in with regular pot, then shipped to the U.S. at a time when doobie toking was the national pastime.
The government brushed off criticism of its paraquat program as it only causes pulmonary fibrosis when taken orally and "throat bleeding" when inhaled. And really, who couldn't use a little throat bleeding now and again?
#1. The Government Is Spraying Us With Biological Warfare Agents!
Experts like Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins fame have tried to warn the world of the evil government program to spray chemicals on the general population from the skies. Google "chemtrails" and you'll find more than 3 million results of people talking about this conspiracy, with believers claiming that the chemicals are for population control, or weather control, or that the chemicals are causing respiratory illnesses.
And then we've all heard how AIDS was invented by the CIA to wipe out gays and black people.
Why It's Not So Crazy
Not only has the federal government secretly tested biological warfare on U.S. citizens, they've actually killed someone while doing it. During the Cold War, the U.S. government put serious research into entomological warfare and by "research," we mean they "dumped 300,000 mosquitoes over the state of Georgia to see what would happen." The mosquitoes weren't infected with yellow fever or anything. The just wanted to see if they hypothetically could use yellow fever infected mosquitoes to kill vast swaths of people.
And that was just the tip of the "secretly testing biological agents on private citizens" iceberg. Military records reveal there were 239 open-air tests of biological agents on the American public, including the 1966 dusting of the New York Subway system with a cousin of anthrax, the release of a cloud of allegedly harmless bacteria over San Francisco Bay in 1950 and the spraying of passengers with a different bacterium at National Airport in Washington, D.C.
After the San Francisco bacteria bomb, 11 people ended up in hospitals with rare urinary tract infections, and one man died. And while the New Yorkers and Washingtonians weren't exposed to bacteria that were debilitating to healthy people, the germs were dangerous to anyone who already had a compromised immune system. And considering that one of the attacks was on random people in an airport, we'll never know who got sick and died because of the tests.
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